grieving...is it silly?

Today I was browsing craigslist for furniture that I need for my bedroom and unexpectedly found myself dealing with hurt, anger, and grief. Many of the pieces of furniture that I came across were very similar to the furniture I had to leave behind in Washington when I moved back to Oregon. (That's a whole different story that I don't have time to go into now) The lady I was staying with prior to moving here didn't prove to be as caring as she made herself out to be and, well, long story short, I had to move out quicker than was expected, and had no way of moving all of my furniture out when I left. She was not present the day I moved out, so I left a note regarding all the things I left behind informing her that as soon as I was settled and had the means to move them out, I would contact her. I didn't have a phone at the time, so I gave her my email address. Unfortunately, it would seem she wanted my things for herself, since several months later, when I tried to reach her, her phone was disconnected, and when I tried to go back to her place to retrieve it, it was all gone. She had moved out, and I had no idea where she moved to. It's been a couple of years, and I've tried to make myself okay, knowing that I most likely will never see any of it again, but in being honest with myself, I'm not okay. I know I shouldn't make such a big deal out of material things, and normally I wouldn't, but some of these were precious as they were gifts from people I love, or had memories attached to them, like the desk I got for my birthday the year I moved out, or the hope chest I got for graduation full of precious things like my favorite stuffed animals, pictures, momentos, and my scrapbook that had all of my baby pictures in it. This all shouldn't matter, but it does...and I'm asking God to help me...first to get over it, second, to be able to truly forgive, because, honestly, when I think of this woman, the only feeling that comes is anger and hate. Help me, LORD!

Had a dream last night...it was most likely one of those silly dreams, not one that you're like, "Oooohh...what does it mean?", but it contained in it three things that are on my mind and in my heart pretty frequently: end times, Preston, and marriage. I dreamed it was the beginning of the tribulation, and there was a group of us that was setting up a hideout in an abandoned store. We got raided and about half of the group was hauled off by police. The rest of us had managed to hide, and so had escaped. Some of the people in our group were from church, the rest were people that I can't say I recognize, but in the dream, I knew them. We were just coming out from our spots after the raid, when Preston shows up at the door. We were all shocked, cuz we thought he was dead, but it turned out that the accident was a cover, and that he had been in hiding preparing for the tribulation! I know, really weird, huh? If only... After that, we continued setting up our hideout, and I met this guy who was part of our group, and well, we just looked at each other and knew that God had planned for us to be together... All of this is sounding really, REALLY silly now that I'm reading it on my screen, but the dream itself seemed to make perfect sense :) Be that as it may, the dream left me with a sense of hope for the future, whatever God has planned, even if it means renovating an old store in a strip mall, hehe. I don't even know why I'm putting all this down, but hey, this was on my mind today. I know that God will prepare me for whatever trials and difficulties come my way, that one day, I will see Preston again, along with my God and Savior, and that God willing, I will meet the man he's chosen for me. That's all folks!